In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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