Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Farmville is her only friend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
