Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
