She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
