He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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