Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
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Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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