Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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