Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I have post one night stand depression
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
