If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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