party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
false alarm. still invincible.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
