I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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