Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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