You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
