Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
