His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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