Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
