sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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