I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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