i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
