So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
