I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
