There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize