I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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