She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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