my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do vagina's smell?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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