At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
