apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
