i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
