you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
