I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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