It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
