I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
