I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
