omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize