Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
