Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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