so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
