have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
