guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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