We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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