I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
