Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
