Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We are all done wearing pants today
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
