I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
