it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize