i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
