she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
