if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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