stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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