Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
