Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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