Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
