I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
