I'm going to jail i love you
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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