I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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