I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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