obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
