Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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