I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Randomize
