id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
