but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
